Sunday, August 24, 2008

Why you should learn to bake bread from your grandma instead of a recipe you got off the internet

I decided to make some bread this week, and I haven't really made a yeast bread, well, ever. I mean, not on my own. So, I got a recipe online for this specific bread (or a copycat of it...) that I've been craving that they have at this restaurant near my hometown. I thought, hey, I can read directions, so I can do this, right?

Things I was not-so-much right about...
Warm water is warm water, right? Um...how warm is warm? If warm is good, hot is probably better, right? Better to err on the side of too hot sounds good...OR...as you out there who DID learn to bake bread from your grandmothers...too hot will kill the yeast entirely. First of many OOPS.

Also the recipe said to knead the bread for 2 minutes. I thought this sounded like not nearly enough time, but I wanted to be a good little direction follower and do what they said. So after 2 minutes of kneading (which I DID learn from my grandmother), I put the bread in a bowl in a warm place (outside...yes, covered...it was 95 degrees outside, so I figured I was good there...) I was supposed to wait for it to double in size.

So I waited...and waited...and waited...and then I realized I had maybe increased the size by.,.oh, 10% at most. ARGH! So I microwaved some water until it was boiling really good and then put the bowl of dough in the microwave with the steam (no, I did NOT microwave the dough at least.)

Still, no more rising. I was not about to throw this bread away, so I finished it, even though it was barely risen. It's a flatbread anyway, so I broke it into some small balls and starting rolling with my amazing super-high tech rolling pin (which is ACTUALLY a piece of PVC pipe...)

It rolled out pretty well, and it actually tasted pretty good after I cooked it, but a little "heavy." I have eaten it all at this point, so I guess it's not a total failure, but...this is what I get for not paying enough attention to grandma...

1 comment:

Mama Tango said...

I'm sorry, but that's hysterical. And I'm only allowed to say that because the extent of my bread-making lie in my ability to layer things correctly into my bread machine and then hit an "on" button. Let's not talk about the little widget thing that kneads the dough...it comes off inside the bread sometimes, and sometimes gets thrown away with an older loaf of bread, if the bread thrower doesn't remember that it's in there.

But we're not going to talk about that.

If you ever are able to replicate the recipe...I'll pay you. I swear it. If it saves me a trip across the river to get Snackers...let me tell you...I'd be happy. My hips? Yeah, not really. But I'd be happy.